nathan i was just reading some of those surveys you sent and i just had
to tell you i love you and i know you know it but i just wanted to say it
again...i'm like tearing up...i love you so much this is driving me
insane...but just knowing that one day we'll be together in each other's
arms again is good enough for me...i can handle it until then...i love
you sooooo much nathan...okay i'm like crying...i just want to lay there
with mi head on your chest and cry...mi life would be totally complete
then...just to lay there with you...okay whoa *deep breath* this is so
hard...we can hold out tho...i have $400 and i was talking to crystal on
the phone today and i told her i wanted to visit her and she told me to
go see you...i want to sooooo much but i don't think mi parents will let
me...i really hope so tho...like in december or february...god i hope
so...crystal knows how much we mean to each other...i'm glad she can put
up with mi crap haha like when i start talking about how much i love you
and how wonderful you are or how much i miss you...she never says she's
sick of it or mocks me n any way...she's really truely happy for
us...maybe one day all of us can be together...and as much as she means
to me...i'd see you over her in a second...i love her to death and i
don't want to come across as a bitch about it but i need to hold you...to
just be close to you. god right now...i'd give anything to touch
you...and to be face to face and stare into those eyes...just remember
always that i could never hurt you nathan...i love you so much you mean
the world to me...i could never ever hurt you intentionally...think about
when we together and there were no misunderstandings because we had clear
tones and facial expressions...just know that if anything comes across
bad over the computer that you can't get the tone or expression and
that's all...and i'm sorry when i screw up...i love you more than
anything nathan...and that's the way it is from now on...we have
something really great...don't ever doubt it...i'm crying again now...i
just want to hold you r face and stare into your eyes and kiss you gently
all over. and just hold you...and cry on your chest...and smell you...i
studied your hands and can picture them...such perfect hands...nice and
tan and strong looking but not too big and overwhelming...perfect...just
like everything else about you... *sigh* okay well it's late now
darling...i hope i talk to you tomorrow...if not then tell me if you'll
be in the ramp around 2:45 or 3 on tuesday...i love you
nathan...always...forever...don't forget it for a second... *kiss* just
think about those times we had...and will have soon....good night mi
love....sweet dreams gorgeous....




~mandy~

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